Friday, December 20, 2013

Working seriously hard these days.

I've been such a bad bad blogger & I truly apologize to you. Of course we know that NaNoWriMo was last month. Did you win?? I did. My first year doing so. While some people may be ecstatic with this prospect, me....not so much. Not because I feel I didn't accomplish anything, because I's because now the HARD part happens. The editing.

There are many of my writerly friends that relish the thought of going in and tweaking their story until it's just right. I on the other hand look forward to it like a root canal while having my bone marrow biopsied at the same time. The creative portion of the programming I have down pat. I can create until the cows come home. Once I hit the editing portion of the programming, that's where the gears grind to a very painful halt. I'm not sure if it's the pressure that's behind editing, or if it's simply my own fears eating me up from the inside out. I know that once I'm done editing I'll have IT, a finished manuscript. Something I can shop around, see if anyone would like to send my precious baby out into the real world. Parents of college aged kids that are reading this are nodding their heads. On the one hand we want to shove our babies out & force them to live their lives on their own terms. On the other hand, we're scared to death they won't get it right. That's how I feel about my MS babies. Only, instead of me being scared to death my baby won't live their life right, I'm scared that people might poke and prod my baby. Make my baby feel like the unwanted child.

I'm not going to pretend I know how to overcome this fear, because I don't. Once in a while I gather just enough courage to shove as hard as I can (my eyes squeezed tightly shut the entire time) & hope that someone will love my baby as much as I do. That's the worst part isn't it? You send your baby out & you have no control over what happens next. It's the best and worst feeling ever.

So, having given birth to this post, I'm off to bed. My babies will need me when I wake up & I want to be fresh to confront them.

As always my #wordmongering & writerly good to each other & write like the wind!